A Side of Syrup Podcast - EP 011: The Journey to Building Your Wildest Dreams with Shelton Wilder
From retail roots to real estate icon.
Sixteen years ago I was struck by a Southern woman with incredible charisma, gumption, and kindness. She was the kind of person who was going somewhere. Somewhere big. I knew I had to follow along for her ride.
With hard work and tenacity, Shelton has built her company from the ground up. Recruiting talent who has her values and passion for giving back.
One thing I love about Shelton is that she is who she is. She doesn’t hold back or hide anything. Her life’s lessons have fueled her growth and make for an amazing learn & listen. And get ready for alot of laughs too!
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Resources:
Connect with Shelton:
Website: https://sheltonwilder.com
Instagram: @sheltonwilderestates
Facebook: Shelton Wilder Real Estate
Connect with Shannon:
Website: thisissyrup.com
Instagram: @syrupcoaching
Facebook: www.facebook.com/syrupcoaching
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/syrupcoaching
Syrup free resources: thisissyrup.com/resource-library
Full episode transcript:
Hi! My name is Shannon Pfeffer. I'm obsessed with understanding the how and the why behind feeling good and translating that knowledge into strategies that help you live better.
Each week we'll dive into conversations about food, fitness, stress, career, and family. We'll learn from each other, feel more connected, and we'll explore ways to design a life you love.
So what are you waiting for? Keep listening for tips, tricks, and fun facts about feeling good, looking good, and living better. And don't forget to bring a snack. This is the A Side of Syrup Podcast.
00:00.00
syrupcoaching
Before Shelton Wilder became one of the top luxury real estate agents in Los Angeles forget Los Angeles in the country and built out her incredible team and her brand that is recognized. Everywhere in this city I met Shelton sixteen years ago when we were both doing totally different things but the person Shelton was day one is who she is today. Warm silly. Bo me the brightest bulb in the room and incredibly well dressed and put together. So. It's no surprise Shelton well wilder has built an empire I am thrilled for you to hear Shelton's raw and honest story about. How she got to where she is all of her missteps along the way and how running this empire she makes time and takes time not only to care about herself but others in the world. So sit back stay tuned take some notes and get ready to laugh. Me and Shelton.
00:00.86
syrupcoaching
Hi Shelton I am thrilled you are here today. Ah Sheldon when did we meet like fifteen years ago
00:08.90
Shelton Wilder
Oh it. Yeah because I moved here sixteen years ago so probably at fifteen and a half I think like right when I moved here we met. We were like all in the front group.
00:18.43
syrupcoaching
Which yeah, which I think that was the year that I moved here as well which is crazy to see where we started and where we're at now. But I love that we are still in touch after.
00:27.25
Shelton Wilder
Yes, yes.
00:35.93
syrupcoaching
All of these years and that we've still stayed in l a.
00:36.93
Shelton Wilder
Yes I know we're still here So many of our.
00:42.75
syrupcoaching
Everybody I feel like that friend group. We had just kind of like all did their own thing but we are here and we are making it in l a so um I would love I mean I know you well but I would love for you to tell everybody who Shelton while there is.
00:48.88
Shelton Wilder
Yet.
00:58.89
syrupcoaching
Ah, what you're doing day to day and and you know we'll get into a lot more of wire on the podcast but let's let's talk.
01:06.91
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, ah well thanks for having me I'm so excited. You're doing this It's definitely necessary I'm so excited to hear everything you're doing too so that was amazing to get caught up to and who is Shelton Wilder well I am a luxury realtor in Los Angeles I my firm is called Shelton Wilder group and I am at sotheby's and Brentwood and we yeah I'm a realtor but I'm also the Ceo of my company I have 6 agents on my team and ah a team of total of around 14 of us. They're like. Different people that help and also the the other agents and I love my team I'm so grateful and it's just the best experience. It's kind of like my own family that we've created and also I have two kids I have two boys we were just talking about the kids. And they're bow and lane. They are 6 and eight years old and so they're about to start school. They're 1 in first and third and then I married happily married to Clark and he's an attorney and we have been together ten years and just celebrated 9 years married and so yeah I mean I have a very busy. Full life and um I but I love I love doing podcasts I love talking about being an entrepreneur. That's what I consider myself I don't just say a realtor I consider what I'm do. It's a business that I that I run. Um and yeah and and.
02:39.70
Shelton Wilder
We can talk today about all the failures that I had that got me to this point and all of the lessons that I learned the lessons that I keep learning all time and they don't go away. You always have to keep learning. but um but yeah so that's kind of the nuts and bolts of where I am today.
02:47.50
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
02:53.82
syrupcoaching
Me.
02:58.98
Shelton Wilder
And and living in Brentwood and working and being a mom and all that.
03:01.34
syrupcoaching
Yeah, and I think people don't realize being an entrepreneur is one of the hardest jobs because you're not only running a business you're creating and you're pivoting and you're constantly doing things and you never really get that.
03:18.56
Shelton Wilder
Oh yeah, they're no breaks or no days off so people are like oh I want to have my own business because then I have my own hours. Well that that doesn't happen when you have your emphasis. You're always working which is you better be doing something that you love So I don't even feel like.
03:18.72
syrupcoaching
Break for yourself.
03:36.77
Shelton Wilder
What I'm doing is working because I actually love it so much because it's just connecting with people mostly and then I consider it like helping to people to build wealth helping them to own real estate buy and sell real estate. Um actually talk to your husband about that and he is very helpful and you know talking that through with the lending side. But.
03:41.20
syrupcoaching
Um.
03:56.66
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, it's It's the same thing. So I feel like I'm very much of service and but yeah, so being an entrepreneur you you work all the time but also being a realtor you're on your client's time. So it's it's like a double other people's schedules. But I have a lot of help.
04:06.23
syrupcoaching
And you.
04:13.98
Shelton Wilder
And I have a lot of resources and I you know I'll talk about that too because I think it's so important we're just talking about that too and about how the nannies and the help and I was I was just sharing about how oneita we call her nino and she's you know they call her mommy too. You know and and she's a third parent and.
04:17.14
syrupcoaching
Me.
04:31.57
syrupcoaching
Mama.
04:33.70
Shelton Wilder
Thank god for her and thank god my husband Clark is so involved and so helpful and we have the boys and it's like he's living vicariously through them. They're in bands and doing all Ford said he loves all the things I mean thank god I married him because I wouldn't be wanting to run to all of those lacra.
04:41.10
syrupcoaching
These.
04:51.26
syrupcoaching
You're right.
04:52.18
Shelton Wilder
I Was being honest like the lacrosse and the swimming and the the band I'm glad he loves all that I like to work. So so yeah.
05:00.95
syrupcoaching
Ah, yeah know I I get it. Ah as a mom with two boys as Well. A little bit younger, but the interests are creeping in and I think we've been to every planetarium any sort of space exhibit in the city and I finally blocked out my husband's calendar this Weekend. You're going to the Discovery Cube I have been there enough. Ah, but you're dern Your're Der but you know like we were talking about before you know we we hit Record. We have no shame in saying what we're doing. We need help With. We raise our hand for help.
05:20.50
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, not your turn. Yeah.
05:38.80
syrupcoaching
Bringing in help because to create an empire. It doesn't just happen. It's hard work all the time until you pop.
05:41.88
Shelton Wilder
Note.
05:47.69
Shelton Wilder
Yes, until you pop and then people think it's oh just so quick and so oh Wow look she just came out of nowhere. It's like now I did it.
05:56.00
syrupcoaching
Yeah, but.
06:00.94
Shelton Wilder
You should have seen all the crying I was doing you should have seen all the nights like oh all the stress. But um, that's fine. People can see what they want to see on you know, social media and all of that and we we make it look really great, but it's it's a it's a lot of work people. Yeah, it's a lot of work and it's I.
06:10.81
syrupcoaching
Um.
06:19.36
Shelton Wilder
And I love I Love that part of it though I love growing with people Love giving people opportunities. Um I Yeah, that's been so important to me I mean I have a lot of um, a female led team and all of that and that's been I Love that I mean.
06:21.70
syrupcoaching
Met.
06:32.56
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
06:37.79
Shelton Wilder
Men are welcome too and and all of that. It's just like it's been really fun I have a lot of moms on my team. It's like mom team. Not everyone is but it's It's really fun. We're really good at multitasking I found that moms are and um, and yeah, so it's just I just love and and like.
06:50.13
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
06:56.50
Shelton Wilder
Like like you said too like the giving back and you know we were just filming this morning and getting meals ready for this homemiemade meals that we do every month and the Alexandria house that we're giving back so that part is super fun too to to stay involved with the community as well as you know being a being an agent and and.
07:15.74
syrupcoaching
Yeah, so much so much and so we're talking more about the present moment. Let's dive back into the past I mean you when you and I met we Both were doing totally different things and we both ended up here.
07:15.91
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, just getting there's There's so much stuff to do? yeah.
07:26.25
Shelton Wilder
Ah, okay back.
07:30.15
Shelton Wilder
Yes.
07:33.89
syrupcoaching
Share a little bit about your journey to I mean you're working towards a big big vision. But how did you get there and where did you start and how do you like figure that out.
07:38.46
Shelton Wilder
Yes. Okay, well I think that the best schooling that I did was having businesses that failed and then learning from them and moving on so I ran a store I was a manager of a store in the buyer in Charlotte. Called capital and it was super high end There's actually one now in Brentwood which is so fun I get to go there and shop and see see see the girls there too and um and that was an incredible experience and I I worked there for 7 years and I decided. Okay, well I'm 26 I need to. Move on and I decided I wanted to live in l la I'm like I got to try it out and if I if it doesn't work out I can always move back to Charlotte no problem you know and so I did it I gave the leap and I I I left there and moved out here and decided to start my own business with one of our friends copper.
08:24.27
syrupcoaching
Then.
08:36.52
Shelton Wilder
And so we it was a luxury lifestyle management company and I just pretty much we just made it up. We were like well we're going to shop and style for people and we planned this insane wedding for our clients of mine and you know we were just kind of doing that that whole thing was like a you know a concierge business planning.
08:50.13
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah.
08:53.28
Shelton Wilder
Planning nights out I had a driver for clients all all the things and so that was pretty successful and then I got the grandiose idea I was drinking a lot at the time I'm sober now but a lot of the the ideas are really brewing in there and um.
09:08.31
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah I think.
09:10.37
Shelton Wilder
I Started a clothing line with some friends too and it was called Sheltini and so I had that and it was kind of getting off the ground and doing well. But um I tell people I was kind of doing a ponzi scheme on myself I like like ah I was like taking the money from my successful business and then.
09:23.55
syrupcoaching
Um, we know.
09:30.30
Shelton Wilder
Kind of funnelly get into the my closing line cause that I mean I don't know if anyone knows but it costs so much money to start a clothing line. You just have to get the sample. There's no money coming in. It's just so much. There's marketing. There's the cost of the samples or the cost of the goods and it was It was very overwhelming and so.
09:39.50
syrupcoaching
Um, ah.
09:44.18
syrupcoaching
Ahead.
09:49.80
Shelton Wilder
and then 2008 and then 2009 hit and then I ended up filing bankruptcy I had lost everything and so that was kind of my journey and I was you know, just really drinking too much and then so in October Twenty second 2009 I had my last drink. Thank god I had an intervention with my friends that I was.
10:09.34
syrupcoaching
Um, it.
10:09.37
Shelton Wilder
Living in 1 of my business partners and so I really got some help there and so I've been sober ever since coming up on 13 years so knock on wood. Yeah, so it's been a long journey. It's of been a long journey and um.
10:19.23
syrupcoaching
Grabs with me.
10:25.90
Shelton Wilder
And that's kind of what happened though. So those businesses I really you know those failed or whatever but I learned a lot I feel like I got you know an Mba in Slips and Mba and knowing you know what to do. But I've taken all of the knowledge from those businesses then later on after getting sober and then i.
10:37.85
syrupcoaching
Here.
10:43.55
Shelton Wilder
Like I call it my sober job and worked at a store and then you know one um health insurance and all those things and then I I ended up eating on Shark Tank and I restarted the clothing line um calling it shimmy because Sheltini was ah the name of my drink my name so I was like you know, maybe that's that name we need a wait.
10:46.74
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
11:01.22
syrupcoaching
Rebrands.
11:02.87
Shelton Wilder
Re brand on like shimmy and so anyway basically shimmy was like what skims is now but I wasn't famous enough Kim Kardashian is a little more famous than I am so but it's a great product I mean it was very successful. Um.
11:09.41
syrupcoaching
Yeah, sit.
11:19.20
Shelton Wilder
But no, it wasn't patented or anything so Kim Kim's crushing it. She has a great you know she's a marketing. Yeah wow she's listen you know everybody has her. Ah, but yeah, so it's these little slips and everything. So I I was on the show and it was.
11:21.00
syrupcoaching
Oh Kim K to idea brand with it.
11:35.70
Shelton Wilder
You know it was great getting on the show. It was very dramatic episode I cried I went bankrupt I was sober it was very dramatic and um, but I ended up raising my own money through Kickstarter so that I learned how to do that I was learning a lot of different things. All these great skills and um, and anyway I did that and I.
11:36.13
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
11:54.51
Shelton Wilder
I had the line for a while. But then I realized I had my first son beau he's eight and a half now and you know I pretty much did not did nothing after that like I was able just to be in mom I called myself Ceo of beau I nurse for night months I just really kind of took on that role and.
12:06.83
syrupcoaching
Let's bring it. We.
12:13.51
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
12:14.43
Shelton Wilder
But I still kind of had the slips in the back of my mind of like am I going to do this I'm selling this and I I really sat down and got quiet with it and I just I just really hated it I'm like oh my God My my job was like running to ship things I hate that when I would get in order I'd be like oh damn it you know I was like mad but know you were like.
12:29.23
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:33.54
Shelton Wilder
Think we're done here. My husband's like oh Shelton like if I hear you complain about getting an order one more time like who does that. So.
12:38.73
syrupcoaching
But that happens people create businesses. They hate you know? Yeah no I still have one.
12:44.61
Shelton Wilder
Um, my gosh. Yes I mean love the product I still wear the product. It's so good exactly all of a tad wide. We're all like did like the trunk shows I mean at one point I was in like 55 store I mean it what did go? Well, it's obviously a great product. They still last I mean I still.
12:53.21
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah, right.
13:02.73
Shelton Wilder
Um, from fifteen years ago that are like still good and so but it's just I don't like that business and then I so was like really praying meditating going deep like what do I like to do what was I good at sales I'm great at people I love interacting with people I love being out and about I know I didn't like.
13:07.73
syrupcoaching
My needs. Um, yeah.
13:21.65
Shelton Wilder
Being so like even when I was at the store I was I was like the Rachel Zoe of Charlotte like even the the owner like I still talked to I love her Laura and she's like oh my gosh you were just all over the place because I said well I know I'll just pack my car with like $50000 for the clothes and I'll sell 30000 a day or I can just be in the store waiting for people to come I'm like I'm very proactive.
13:22.23
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
13:32.60
syrupcoaching
E.
13:38.53
syrupcoaching
Yeah, right.
13:41.47
Shelton Wilder
I'm like let's do that. We gotta do something So um, it's pretty much I was like what am I gonna do I'm like am I gonna like sell yachts am I gonna sell um lanes am I gonna what what? what showed him like homes I'm like well I want a home. Um I Love home. It's not as much like I love homes and architecture like that's all fine.
13:47.46
syrupcoaching
M.
13:53.42
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah.
14:00.32
Shelton Wilder
I Love being able to help people in in a lasting like clothes are great and it makes you feel great about yourself and beautiful and like how you present to the world I I get it. But it's very different. You know once you buy it. It's like that you know, but but the homes are like.
14:10.89
syrupcoaching
Bit temporary.
14:19.15
Shelton Wilder
You know your equity your building and you feel have stability and and all these different things. So um, so that's what I chose and I just like my mentor says I just went balls out I mean I I you know I couldn't clark says that I couldn't afford to pay attention I mean nothing I that.
14:34.28
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
14:37.60
Shelton Wilder
Clark didn't say like oh here's a bag of money to go start your business. It was like oh no you and 10000000 other realtor like like I told Clark to be a realtor and he's like basically at first he he said when you came to me it was like I was like I am gonna go be an actor I am gonna be on a now. It's like oh god.
14:45.40
syrupcoaching
Um, think ahead.
14:56.12
syrupcoaching
If I.
14:57.17
Shelton Wilder
Oh God a realtor now you know what this girl I was like oh gosh oh cause he was in the film business so he was like oh gosh. But then he realized wait a minute. She's I think she can do that So I took every skill that I had about doing photo shoots about having great content about.
15:05.10
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, um.
15:11.75
syrupcoaching
It will.
15:16.11
Shelton Wilder
Working hard because I was like paying to work I mean when I had living line I was literally paying to work I mean it was just money out money out nothing in yet. You know it was like oh I'm gonna be next sp So I'm gonna be so this the grandiosity was insane and so that all got that all got smashed when I.
15:17.39
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
15:23.81
syrupcoaching
No yeah. The minute.
15:34.91
Shelton Wilder
And got so for my I have lots of humility now. But I knew I had to just put the content out and like do the videos things that I didn't want to do but that I just kept doing cause I hadn't even sold anything but I was like constantly talking about real estate I knew I had to stop talking about styling stop talking about slips.
15:42.48
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah.
15:50.62
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
15:54.47
Shelton Wilder
Talking about all of that and just really present and show up on social media which is free and tell people that that's what I was doing and then for them to see like okay well she's not changing her mind because I didn't want people like oh God she so ad D What is she doing now. Oh what is yeah do um.
16:00.20
syrupcoaching
Yep.
16:06.96
syrupcoaching
Right? Yeah like which is this this and this.
16:13.20
Shelton Wilder
Oh he's gonna do this now now soon. No no, no I was like I promise guys I'm just gonna do real estate I'm gonna stay I'm gonna make it and I just kept believing in myself and just putting putting out there. So.
16:20.90
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah, and now I mean it's It's so impressive of the like consistent presence you have on social and it just feels like it's been forever. The story you've been telling forever and you've taken it from like.
16:36.13
Shelton Wilder
Why.
16:40.45
syrupcoaching
How all of us when we are just getting started are like I got to do this I got to do this to like really owning it and having your own voice and it's different like also your own voice within the real estate industry in L A and beyond.
16:52.28
Shelton Wilder
What very different and.
16:55.23
syrupcoaching
You know? and so it's like such a different spin and I and I applaud you for that because it probably took a long time like lots of hits and misses to find your your niche. You got it.
17:02.75
Shelton Wilder
Oh yeah, well I'll just give you guys a little background on that. So I come from 5 siblings so I'm the oldest girl so I have a full brother stepister step brotherther half brother halfister and we're all very very close now. But. I mean it was like survival of the fittest in my family. Okay, it's not just like encouraging like you got this, you get a participation trophy. It was like you suck. What are you doing? You're crazy that is so aggressive I can't so when I first put out my wilder Wednesday so I've been doing these videos now i've.
17:23.65
syrupcoaching
Um, yes, ah.
17:30.11
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
17:36.82
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
17:41.80
Shelton Wilder
So I'll just give you the background now so you kind of tell so right now in 2022 so my team we have sold and have an escrow around $138000000 so last year we sold 100 this year is September I mean it's it's only August and we're around like 100 and
17:42.40
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah.
17:59.72
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, thirty thirty eight million so we are in a very exponential gross only six years in and I started doing these wilder Wednesday videos. So every Wednesday I was like I'm gonna put out a minute or 2 minute video and just say what I'm doing and this is before anybody was doing videos so six years ago
18:13.99
syrupcoaching
You sure.
18:18.54
Shelton Wilder
And they were terrible. It was like me with the ring light and like a camera and just like pressing play and then hi welcome back to wilder Wednesday so my family railed me I mean not not like a little they were just leaving me.
18:25.60
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, um.
18:34.14
Shelton Wilder
Just like oh my god who do you think you are what is this is the dumbest thing and they'd be like hey hey how but welcome Matt I mean I just was like nope nope nope nope Ear Muffs not listen to them like thank god I didn't listen to them so we're at like beach trip that I set this whole like 20 person house out in South Carolina I'm like what do you? Allll think about my wilder Wednesdays now and they're like oh we love them. They're great. They're great. They're fine and they're you're doing great. So I'm just like yeah so don't listen to the haters usually your families First don't even you know like just just do your thing because if I had listed them who knows if I would even have gotten there because now everybody.
18:51.89
syrupcoaching
That.
18:59.33
syrupcoaching
Are.
19:10.88
syrupcoaching
For me.
19:11.69
Shelton Wilder
Knows you know wilder Wednesday they expect it and every Wednesday for for five and a half years I've been putting it out and so it's just the consistency like you said and I have now I have a full-time social media natalie she's amazing. She helps all the time but like and then I have different people filming all it's in it's own thing I mean it's.
19:16.16
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah.
19:26.53
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, um.
19:31.14
Shelton Wilder
We're filming now here at ten thirty and I've had like my people here from 7 30 filming like these like meals that we've been making and like you know, getting things ready for a lot of the charities that we do and so it's a constant thing. It's like creating content because so my degree I went to Georgia I mean i.
19:39.91
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, yeah.
19:50.22
Shelton Wilder
I got a drinking degree in Georgia for sure. But but also I I got a I was summa cum laude I did really well I could really multitask on that. So but it was in marketing and so I I feel like my company really is like um, a marketing machine that kind of what it is because it's not just.
19:57.72
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah.
20:04.87
syrupcoaching
Present.
20:10.70
Shelton Wilder
Social media the videos the putting out contents the newsletters and the ads the I mean I mean the the tiktoks now we have to do the reals I mean so much that goes into it but I'm just not scared of it now because I've been practicing for 6 years because i.
20:17.70
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
20:26.10
syrupcoaching
Who.
20:29.26
Shelton Wilder
Do these dumb videos for 6 years so I have no problem with coming on a Zoom or doing a video or being filmed just like oh been doing long enough. It is what it is yeah.
20:33.10
syrupcoaching
Right? Yeah, you can totally totally yeah and I think you know something that I speak on the podcast but also just in in life to entrepreneurs a lot I'm I'm so curious about how people do what they do. And a common thing is people who take action like there's so many of us who say I want to do this or I'm going to do this real today and I you know I'm not going to care what people think but then they don't do it and then that gets frustration and you know being stuck and saying in that same place. But.
20:55.28
Shelton Wilder
Yes, yeah.
21:04.28
Shelton Wilder
Um, yeah.
21:12.32
syrupcoaching
You know and we've been talking what 20 minutes now and you have taken action your whole adult life to move to the next thing and figure things out.
21:16.73
Shelton Wilder
Well yeah, it's a lot of action and that's why I excited when you contact me about this one I'm like oh my God doing a pocket That's huge action. You know for your business. It's It's so it's it's incredible. So that's why I'm like okay find what you like.
21:29.16
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
21:35.42
Shelton Wilder
Just do it Nobody cares The other thing too is that people they do these videos or these reels and I don't watch any of mine I'm like Mortified I'm not like looking at it or critiquing it I'm just like okay grant you're gonna film it and then you're just gonna send it to me and we put it up I mean.
21:42.83
syrupcoaching
And yeah.
21:49.94
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
21:54.31
Shelton Wilder
I'm not like oh awesome, let me just check it through. It's just like it's done. Done's better than perfect like let's just ah, okay, great. It's it's there for wild or Wednesday I don't even watch it and like I'm glad people do, but it's like I already know what I said because I already did it I was there I don't need to critique myself I don't need to.
22:01.73
syrupcoaching
Um, but yeah.
22:12.91
Shelton Wilder
Check on it anymore I don't need to have the perfectionism come. That's it's really, it's really perfectionism that Holds holds people back. It's a huge issue that holds people back on any sort of action. So whatever you can do to break through that mold like I even did you know.
22:21.48
syrupcoaching
Um.
22:31.10
Shelton Wilder
So many years ago when I when I first got sober I wanted to do some things that would scare me so I did standup comedy. Okay I was like well what's scarier than that. No no, oh yeah yeah I did a class I got up in front of 200 people I did the thing and it was like why why am I doing this, you don't know I'm like I don't want to be a.
22:37.90
syrupcoaching
Oh My gosh I could never. Um, yeah.
22:50.72
Shelton Wilder
Touring stand-up Comedian but I just want to do something that scared myself so I did that and then I did some improv I never wanted to be in thatport I don't want to act like anybody but myself but it was just like okay well I'll just try why am I doing it. Well I have some time I don't really like what I'm doing the job I don't know. Yeah, what about some Improv I did it with a friend.
22:52.94
syrupcoaching
Um, you know? yeah.
23:09.57
Shelton Wilder
And then like who knew that that was gonna help me on shark tank I mean I was really prepared to be on you know Shark tank then I took that into you know the videos and things so do stuff that scares you try it out. What is gonna help you to kind of break through your.
23:17.12
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
23:21.99
syrupcoaching
You.
23:27.98
Shelton Wilder
Fears of doing it because nobody really cares. They just want to see your authentic self. That's why it's like 1 take wonder I'm not trying to film all day and like get the perfect take. It's just like 1 take what? okay good. You got it. Grant just edit send it over and Natalie will post it up and if you have a hard time posting on social can somebody.
23:36.30
syrupcoaching
Are yeah right.
23:46.90
Shelton Wilder
Help you I personally like I know you're like oh you're so consistent you just I have a really hard time with actually hitting post because it's bragging to me. It seems like kind of boastful and you know my whole lesson in life from thirteen years ago is
23:56.39
syrupcoaching
Um, and yeah.
24:04.93
Shelton Wilder
Complete humility after I lost everything you know it was like not this shot anymore. So it's hard for me to you know? Oh we did this and I sold this for one point six million over asking but it's like I can't be a secret agent I mean what else is gonna say who else is gonna talk about it. So so hire somebody.
24:07.91
syrupcoaching
Nope.
24:18.97
syrupcoaching
Um, ring.
24:22.89
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, um.
24:23.91
Shelton Wilder
Where you can just like we talked about to to get out if you can't do it Even you can start slow. There are even people like all over the world that can help you for for you know? So it's.
24:32.29
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah, there's virtual assistants who specialize in social that are not like very very very low cost to get started.
24:40.40
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, and yeah, and that are great that they can hit the post button for you because I understand and I'm not. It's hard for me even even at this level I have you know whatever 41000 followers on Instagram now and like my I'm trying to get the Tiktok up. But even though I feel I'm 43 I feel so old doing all the Tiktok. But.
24:57.89
syrupcoaching
I know but that works.
24:59.73
Shelton Wilder
She makes me do it. Natalie's like you still got it I don't care. You're doing this today I'm like fine and then you just you just do I just I take direction and and your action like you said.
25:09.83
syrupcoaching
Um, ah, yeah, and I think that another point you're speaking to is like being your authentic self because you know I let's talk it like. Preschool. For example, my son's in preschool and we've visited 100 preschools to decide on 1 and you meet a ton of parents along the way there's parents who definitely show up to preschools here dressed to the nines trying to impress really really trying and then there's people who like show up in a t-shirt.
25:26.49
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, yeah.
25:41.70
syrupcoaching
But like they're that's who they are and they're authentic and they're real and you could tell the difference and that's sort of my analogy to social of like there's a lot of people who put lipstick on a pig and try to make social work and they're trying to be someone else, but then the people who show up as themselves.
25:41.36
Shelton Wilder
Yeah. Yeah.
25:56.71
Shelton Wilder
Yeah.
26:01.15
syrupcoaching
That's the most attractive you want to know more you want to hear their story. You want to hear the good things that they're doing I mean it is a highlight real So you know like that's what is so attractive to be so comfortable in your own skin. It takes a lot to get there.
26:01.85
Shelton Wilder
Yeah.
26:09.73
Shelton Wilder
Less.
26:17.99
syrupcoaching
But that's a draw.
26:20.51
Shelton Wilder
They I mean it's taken a while and then sometimes people might be like oh my god like maybe if they start following me in the beginning or and there's realtors around the world that follow me, it's like kind of that's like a lot of my audience. Um then but I'm sure they were like oh my god she's always dressed up to the nines and I mean you've known me 15 years have you ever.
26:27.63
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
26:37.55
syrupcoaching
Um, this is you.
26:38.19
Shelton Wilder
Have you ever seen me in sweatpants or something casual I don't even I barely own I I own.
26:41.96
syrupcoaching
Never I mean Shelton the first trip we took together away I like I was like dressed and you're like girl let me do your hair and you like took me. Yeah, um.
26:58.56
Shelton Wilder
Sister I'm just big 6 I'm like come on come on. We gotta do this I ah all the time always always. It's not like yeah and like people are like oh my gosh.
26:59.24
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's perfect because that's you that is you all the time Always Ah yeah, always.
27:14.20
Shelton Wilder
Because I just took this incredible trip to London and Paris I've never done something like that for myself I went with some girlfriends we had the most epic time and then I planned and produced an entire photos shoot from Instagram by the way of myself for you know.
27:19.76
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, yeah.
27:28.35
syrupcoaching
If he.
27:31.19
Shelton Wilder
Saying I because I found the photographer on Instagram that he put me in touch with the stylists who brought me $100000 worth of clothes. The most incredible gowns things that were on like the can red carpet film festival I mean just just the craziest things and I had an assistant I had I mean it's so over the shop people like did you buy the like no I didn't.
27:38.10
syrupcoaching
Um, ah.
27:46.25
syrupcoaching
Ah, yeah.
27:51.13
Shelton Wilder
Buy them. That's what a stylus is for I'm like that I used to be a silu I get it. This is fun for me that is my fun and some people are like probably like oh my gosh who who what does she do? I'm like why are you doing a fun shoot for me even my sister to this day. She'll text me she's like huh.
27:54.10
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, um.
28:00.18
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
28:08.68
Shelton Wilder
We were just wondering what your photo shoot was for and then and I'm like for me for fun and she laughs at me and and then they call it. They do their quote is another day. Another photo shoot I'm like oh yeah, that's me.
28:13.57
syrupcoaching
Um, eat it.
28:22.40
Shelton Wilder
That's not I am and then and she's like it's fine because I get all of your leftovers I'll I'll take anything you send me I'm like yeah, that's right? So I mean now it's just a dope like I Just don't take myself seriously at all I think it that.
28:27.78
syrupcoaching
Ah, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but you are who you are. And you know you know that and that's why I feel like your social has grown and why you know you're showing up as you are. it's it's not you're not dressing up for the camera this is Shelton. Yeah yeah.
28:49.44
Shelton Wilder
Oh no, no I'll be dressed like this seven a M for any reason like everybody's like oh you're wearing your prom dress today. Yep yep, got my prom dress on C and five you know for showing for ah for for whatever I Just can't.
28:59.47
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, yeah.
29:05.53
Shelton Wilder
That casual look so I actually when you were talking about that though. Shannon I have kind of an identity crisis happen a little bit at preschool when I started and as just being a mom that was I had to like try to like find mom clothes so I'm like what am i.
29:09.53
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
29:15.10
syrupcoaching
Um.
29:21.39
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
29:24.53
Shelton Wilder
What am I doing like I'm used to wearing a dress every day I'm Southern and then like oh I got to have like the mother jeans and then you know they're totally out now but those Golden goose shoes and then I like ah like make sure this sweaters and I'm like what is this outfit but what and what that was even harder.
29:29.70
syrupcoaching
Um.
29:37.37
syrupcoaching
Um.
29:44.40
Shelton Wilder
For me that was like ah I mean I can't do it like that that was so being not authentic to myself I'm like there I just have to go to the park and address I I can't I wear heels every day. Sorry.
29:54.20
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, you yeah you you? yeah yeah, and like doesn't matter Boy Mom This is who I am Um, yeah yeah, no I think it's I.
29:59.79
Shelton Wilder
Ah, why.
30:06.57
syrupcoaching
It's just it's such an attractive quality to seeing another person to you know to know themselves and I think that's just you know it's It's part of your light and and why people aren't drawn to you. So.
30:10.60
Shelton Wilder
Ah, ah.
30:16.85
Shelton Wilder
Ah, well thank you? But I'll tell you though that part when we that like little mompart really struck me off that really threw me off and and then I had to just go what am I do like you said what am I doing I can't be anything but myself so now all my friends from preschool.
30:22.10
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
30:32.17
syrupcoaching
Um, looking.
30:34.19
Shelton Wilder
They're they're just like oh that's just that's who she is. That's exactly how she's not rather than me trying to like dress down to make everybody comfortable I mean it's just I can't that.
30:37.40
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
30:40.12
syrupcoaching
Yeah, it's silly. You got to be who you are and and I think that part also speaks to the the team that you're recruiting and and have built you know they're probably similar like minded of like.
30:53.78
Shelton Wilder
Ah.
30:59.50
syrupcoaching
Taking that action you know building their life building upon your vision of what you want to grow and and you know another thing you know you talk a lot about your friends and the people who have been along and your family along for the ride you're building community.
31:15.13
Shelton Wilder
Yeah.
31:16.85
syrupcoaching
Which is so good for people's well-being their long-term health like to be surrounded by people who lift you up and you lift them up as well.
31:25.23
Shelton Wilder
Oh I that's my big I love I'm like the ultimate encourager I really and you know might've been saying it for years. The positron that is me I really don't like to bring any the negative energy into any of the vibe. All the positron.
31:33.16
syrupcoaching
Hey.
31:42.18
syrupcoaching
Let's you.
31:44.50
Shelton Wilder
And yeah I mean and and my team really, it's just like no diva is allowed I just can't we I mean I'm not a diva as much as I dress up and do all these things I'm the first to clean a toilet I am the first cobwegs down I am the first so I mean you know we're baking the cookies. We're moving the same I'm I'm I'm not like oh oh excuse me, you gotta do that for I don't.
31:46.18
syrupcoaching
Okay.
31:52.17
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
32:03.63
Shelton Wilder
Border people around I don't act like the boss I'm very you know down to earth and I yeah encourage people want to lift them up and that's why I wanted to have the team. For example, 1 of my friends. It's like from preschool that we met 1 of my dearest friends now we did workouts on Zoom during pandemic. And then we have this book club and then she was like Hush I think I want to do real sales like you right? But yes you you have do it you please will you be on my team I would love it. She was like you would have me on g I was like yes I you have to be on my team anyway. So she had words in 8 years and now she's like close 3 deals within.
32:23.49
syrupcoaching
Um.
32:27.56
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
32:41.49
Shelton Wilder
For 3 transactions in four months so going from making 0 to that she's paying for her child's you know, private school I mean just you it's just like wild. That's the kind of help and the give back that we can do together I mean we're just helping each other. It's just it's like we.
32:48.70
syrupcoaching
Man. Yeah.
32:59.27
syrupcoaching
Um, okay.
33:00.18
Shelton Wilder
We every day we're like oh I'm so grateful I'm so grateful I'm I mean gratitude and humility are the 2 things that I have to have and surrounding me because and but I do I do I love to lift people up I want people to succeed I want them to do well it just matters it matters so much to me? oh.
33:06.70
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
33:17.74
syrupcoaching
Yeah, because it and you're doing that for your team that you're building. You're also doing it for the community at large by you know, giving back in in so many ways you've done um like this morning but you've gone gone back got gave in bigger ways too throughout the year and
33:33.21
Shelton Wilder
Oh yeah, a lot of ways. Yeah I just means and means a lot means a lot. Yeah.
33:35.26
syrupcoaching
You know is yeah what where you? yeah yeah, you say like how do you find? is there like a sort of like a sweet spot of like areas that you really want to focus on giving back to um or are you just.
33:50.98
Shelton Wilder
So well we things come to me and then I'll you know, go go through it. We've really worked with Alexandria House a lot. We love them and I did a huge thing for ps arts and I we had a booth and I really love that.
33:54.64
syrupcoaching
Sort of picking and choosing as you go.
34:00.20
syrupcoaching
You.
34:09.99
Shelton Wilder
Um, charity as well. It's just like arts and in the public school is. It's so amazing. My mom is an art So I I Really love you know that that giving back and then also so we have something coming. We're actually filming it next week. So we have a sizzle roll coming up for my own reality show that you know.
34:11.81
syrupcoaching
Um, yes.
34:28.35
Shelton Wilder
It's It's really a a different spin on realtors. So I'm very excited about it because it's basically a lot of people see realtors as you know, not not that great. It's not that great of a light and so and then very.
34:42.97
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
34:46.94
Shelton Wilder
You know, like there's some really successful shows out there and I am like core power like I think it's great. But I am just kind of very opposite I'm very opposite of that and I'm you know want to show the other side and how.
34:48.83
syrupcoaching
Um, me yes.
35:04.35
Shelton Wilder
The the good that people can do and so basically what that will be is that every episode will be where we go and with ever the client that we're working with they will help share which charity they would want to give back.
35:04.44
syrupcoaching
Here.
35:13.85
syrupcoaching
In.
35:19.94
Shelton Wilder
So percentage of our commission that we're helping So we're helping them to build wealth. We're helping them to sell their house and get the house do all the great things and then showing the process of that. Not just like we got the house but it's like very like you know the ends and outs of how it works and then we get to go and highlight who they want to give back to. So it's very.
35:24.35
syrupcoaching
Yell.
35:38.25
syrupcoaching
It's amazing.
35:39.41
Shelton Wilder
Kind of that like heartstrings really emotional very family oriented not like look I can drive a Bentley now like not not not so grainy. There's no fighting within the team. No one that's not allowed because there's enough drama in real estate. It's very emotional.
35:50.00
syrupcoaching
Um, no trauma more wholesome. Yeah.
35:59.32
Shelton Wilder
I mean I really call myself more of a real estate therapist I mean it's like putting on my real estate therapy hat like you know we got, we got to go in there and make sure but because it's so emotional buy a house sell a house move I mean it's just it's like top 5 most difficult things. So I understand how you know because I've been to it myself. We bought a house.
35:59.81
syrupcoaching
Um, yes.
36:02.79
syrupcoaching
No.
36:11.90
syrupcoaching
He.
36:18.48
Shelton Wilder
Um, like I hope my husband you know we've got a houserself I mean it was the ups and the downs of it I mean it's just and then to see what we've been able to build from having that and doing the remodel over time and and the wealth helped us to attain more so than any stocks or anything else that we could. We could have is a home and you need to live.
36:20.78
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
36:27.51
syrupcoaching
And he.
36:36.88
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, yeah, yes.
36:37.84
Shelton Wilder
There Yay! So um, there's so many good parts about it. So so yeah, so that's um, that's kind of the premise and that's you know we're working right now. So that's exciting. There's some other Tv things in the work. So I'm just um, happy to kind of get my vision out there and have being like super collaborative.
36:43.99
syrupcoaching
We.
36:51.66
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
36:56.26
Shelton Wilder
Agent and working with other people and being an agent's agent, not like being in competition with other agents because we're really not. There's abundance. There's enough for everyone to go around. So.
37:03.92
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah, and your niche is different and how you approach the business is super different I mean I know this from when you talk to my husband Aaron but you I thought this was the sweetest sweetest idea of like. Remembering the house's birthday. And yeah.
37:22.19
Shelton Wilder
Oh yeah, the home aversary. Yeah, every every year every every year you're good at something shows up and you're like oh my gosh that was four years ago yeah I'm like I didn't forget yeah, want to like make sure that you remember because it's such a big deal and it's it's also a big deal that you picked me, you know.
37:35.67
syrupcoaching
Um, no.
37:39.11
syrupcoaching
He.
37:41.92
Shelton Wilder
I know that there are you know thousands and thousands of asians out there. It's just really you know I want to show appreciation too. You know so.
37:50.10
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, yeah I think it's It's so Sweet. It is really just the most thoughtful thing to celebrate you know, Ah, amazing, emotional stressful decision. You know that someone made but they. Made that home theirs and you you recognize that How important to that is yeah yeah, totally.
38:06.53
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, it's It's a privilege to be a part journey too. So those clients have you know, stayed my clients you know and we've been able to get their homes and and buy a new home sell that home. You know so it's been. It's it's It's part of the family Still, it's like part of the journey.
38:17.92
syrupcoaching
Um.
38:24.18
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, totally totally so Shelton you take care of others a lot. How do you take care of yourself like how how are you juggling on this looking amazing like tell me.
38:25.50
Shelton Wilder
Beyonce.
38:39.44
Shelton Wilder
Oh oh my gosh. Well I think I think being sober is really helpful I mean not drinking so really helpful. It's also you know like as an agent you can call me anytime because a lot of people do call me or text me Eleven P M I'm not drunk. You're gonna get a strong answer. There's.
38:39.69
syrupcoaching
Your secret sauce.
38:46.70
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, number 1
38:53.92
syrupcoaching
Um, yes.
38:58.39
Shelton Wilder
But and no, no, no paperwork's being done with some of this out a couple too many which is fine I mean other people I love people when they drink I'm like Yay have one for me. But I just you know I I say very and I have an insane amount of energy. It's just.
39:00.28
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
39:10.55
syrupcoaching
Um.
39:15.35
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
39:16.67
Shelton Wilder
I was born that way I mean just as I mean my mom was always like whoa. You know here she got she comes and I've always been this way so that so that's also I don't need a lot of sleep I have like 6 to 7 hours is fine for me. But I do trainer and I do try to get some sort of you know.
39:20.00
syrupcoaching
I.
39:29.75
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, yeah.
39:36.23
Shelton Wilder
Food delivery I'm an assistant that helps me to have food delivered or or scheduling to make sure that that I'm eating I drink a lot of coffee. It's just I That's that's my only big big vice. But I think you're allowed but I kind of take it a little a little over the edge maybe but I love.
39:41.13
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
39:50.37
syrupcoaching
Um, what's you shelter in. Um.
39:56.99
Shelton Wilder
Ah, like I mean I'm I mean sometimes 7 or eight I mean it's aggressive I mean it's a lot of coffee or e expressive but it's it's like it's like a little calm. It's a little both. Um, so there's.
40:02.30
syrupcoaching
I expresso or cups a both. Yeah.
40:12.70
Shelton Wilder
I'll try to throw some matcha in so I get chill. Maybe um, how else I mean I I get nails and hair. But and now I've really gotten smart like my girl does my hair comes to my house. The girl does my nails come to the house so I can be working while I'm there I'm not like bothering people at salons and like we're getting done and that's been.
40:19.23
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
40:23.81
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
40:26.57
syrupcoaching
Rain.
40:30.75
Shelton Wilder
Super helpful with my schedule and yeah, my trainer and then I what else do I do I mean I my thing that's that's so unique about me that sometimes I think people just are like I watch your social I'm and absolutely exhausted. It's just like I've.
40:48.17
syrupcoaching
Um.
40:49.49
Shelton Wilder
I like worked on my I have a cranial sacrum like therapist lady. She's incredible and that's the one I want you to meet but um, so my thing is is that I don't want to have shame anymore around people saying to me. Well you need to take days off, you need to do I mean I had a lot of that I actually don't need to take days off.
40:52.49
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, the.
41:08.34
Shelton Wilder
I'm actually fine because I can be on my phone and get a lot of work done and then make sure everybody's scheduled to be where they need to be. There's usually one day that I can not do a showing I'm still working on my phone but I'm not like dressed and have to get ready and go to a showing but the rest of the day you know at least six days a week and I don't have a problem with that I love what I do.
41:11.80
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
41:22.26
syrupcoaching
Um, I mean ray.
41:27.67
Shelton Wilder
And I'm not gonna I don't wanna feel shame about that anymore because I am a workaholic and I love being a workaholic. That's what makes me happy being in the mix knowing what's happening with my business makes me feel safe and calm me like saying I'm gonna take time off and not look at anything I would freak out because.
41:31.20
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
41:37.20
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
41:45.55
Shelton Wilder
While that while we're on this for an hour I'll probably have like around like a hundred text messages hundred to a hundred and that's fine I prefer that if I don't have text messages then I'm like okay, what's like oh no, oh no.
41:45.78
syrupcoaching
Um, oh my gosh. Yeah yeah.
42:00.28
Shelton Wilder
So I love to be busy. This gives me energy and I am the most extreme form if anybody wanted to you know do like a study on. Um oh my gosh now I'm just for what is it introverts Extroverts Extrovert I I don't even have like.
42:08.83
syrupcoaching
Um, if he.
42:14.71
syrupcoaching
Um, has the.
42:18.17
Shelton Wilder
A a point zero zero one percent introvert I don't even have that at all it is like extreme case of extrovert where I get energy from other people so that gives me joy if if some reason I have to stay home for a long time or just not see people then I would.
42:32.37
syrupcoaching
Um, it here right.
42:37.61
Shelton Wilder
That would be like I would get depressed I mean I don't even know it's never happened like I would be so upset. So I love having our dogbuster the kids you know it's a revolving door I Love having my assistants are coming in the hair people to make up people bubble blah Blah It's like I feed off of that I Love that.
42:40.50
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, um.
42:46.94
syrupcoaching
Um, yes.
42:51.46
syrupcoaching
Um, right.
42:56.24
Shelton Wilder
So um, and then you know having team members them calling me people like oh are you stressed or no I love it I don't want that taken off my play. It gives me so much joy. So I think that people also if they do look at my social or do compare. Don't do compare and despair because I am a freak.
42:59.65
syrupcoaching
A.
43:12.76
syrupcoaching
Um, now.
43:14.93
Shelton Wilder
I know I am a freak of nature with the amount of energy I have from others some people you have to know yourself that's like being ah for yourself. Some people need like they have kids and then they get completely exhausted and they need alone then they need to work it out with their nanny or their husband like.
43:21.12
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
43:28.30
syrupcoaching
E.
43:34.27
Shelton Wilder
I need 4 hours by myself to recharge I don't need that so it it.
43:40.28
syrupcoaching
It's funny. Yes, my um, my husband calls them baby days where I that's that's me I'm like I just need some moments I'm gonna be out on doinging things. But I just need a little time and then recharge. But but I see it through you too you you.
43:48.56
Shelton Wilder
Um.
43:56.63
syrupcoaching
Even on your trip on your vacation. You're like I'm going to do this thing and you know and it's like you're not sitting there enjoying Paris or London and and just like chilling you're like I'm still going I'm still going.
44:03.79
Shelton Wilder
Um, ah yeah.
44:14.48
syrupcoaching
Um, and that's you why.
44:15.33
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, um, that's fun for me and I like to take photos and I like to so be where people like oh be more in the present I'm like well that is fun for me because if I have the photo and then I can keep it and then I can look at it later again and re re remember and recreate the memory. You know.
44:25.48
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
44:31.52
Shelton Wilder
Keep that in my mind I mean that's fun for me. So I'm not going to apologize anymore for what other people think about me about my what I do I'm allowed to do whatever I want to do.
44:37.38
syrupcoaching
Um, and.
44:44.56
syrupcoaching
Um, like me pay.
44:45.29
Shelton Wilder
It's I think it's fun I Love going to the spot. Don't get me wrong. That is my favorite time to turn off is when I'm being pampered like getting a facial getting a massage that to me is pure joy. But I used to really beat myself up I'm like.
44:49.89
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
45:01.22
Shelton Wilder
I Need to be doing more time off in time. It's like no just get out of here and everybody is allowed to have their own opinions. But I don't need to hear your opinions. What you think about me is none of my business. It doesn't matter. Don't let me know I don't care.
45:05.11
syrupcoaching
Um.
45:14.50
syrupcoaching
Yeah, yeah, totally totally and it's funny. A lot of clients I work with are definitely do the comparison game because they're like I should be doing more of this or I should be doing less of this and it's like what works for you.
45:29.11
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, yeah.
45:30.69
syrupcoaching
You know it's always about what works for you like I don't care if if it's a fad diet or you saw it on Instagram or this person you followed for years does this so it's got to work for you like no no, no like everyone is an individual.
45:43.64
Shelton Wilder
What.
45:45.40
syrupcoaching
So yes, it takes a lot of trial and error to get to what works for you. But when you get to that point and you know like you know you need to be around people I know I need a couple of hours by myself on a weekend to like get that recharge moment once you know what works for you like.
45:56.51
Shelton Wilder
Yes.
46:03.64
syrupcoaching
You are gold because you know what fills you up and what drains your battery.
46:03.83
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, to totally and just get to know yourself get to know yourself without like the noise out there but that's taken me a long time. You know I'm like 43 and going finally going. Okay, you know because my biggest. Weakness or character defect or whatever we call it is people pleasing I want to make sure everybody likes me and everybody's happy and everybody's all of the things and I'm just I mean it's it's getting exhausting I'm like no thanks like people can think whatever they you know and I was like oh like I can't say that I wanted you know I'm like working on my show or so.
46:24.75
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
46:42.89
Shelton Wilder
Like no I want to show? Yes, great perfect. You know it's I think what I'm doing is very different and unique and it would be really fun for other people to see that and be inspired. Okay, let it go like happens. Ah you know so I just have to kind of.
46:43.77
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
46:57.45
Shelton Wilder
Let everybody there. Everybody's loud, their own opinions opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one and so I'm like okay well have your you know whatever you think because I try to really one other thing that I've been I really worked on and I got annihilated on it is judgment and.
47:02.74
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
47:16.48
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, yeah, a.
47:17.90
Shelton Wilder
And in mom life and it happened with nursing so I'll just tell you this quick story so I was able to nurse nurse my son beau because I had no other responsibilities. My husband was great I was able just to be mom and that's what I wanted to do and i. Ceo a about I nursed him it was easy for me. It was great nurse for nineteen months I'd probably still be nursing him at 8 years old if I did get pregnant I mean we we had a real bond. It was awesome. So I I would like look at other moms be like why aren't they nursing me what's you know and my mom was really judgy about it too. So.
47:42.50
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
47:48.21
syrupcoaching
Um, you.
47:51.48
Shelton Wilder
I had that in my head come lane another boy two years three months later wonderful great pregnancy had lane. He's not getting weight. He's not getting weight. He's not nursing. He doesn't like it. What's going on. He's crying. He's come to find out. He's allergic to my milk. He's allergic to.
48:05.65
syrupcoaching
Um, in.
48:11.35
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
48:11.40
Shelton Wilder
Help I couldn't nurse him the the doctors you're poisoning him. He doesn't like it. He's losing weight you need to give him the the formula I'm like I know I got a nurse.
48:23.84
Shelton Wilder
Even had formula one day but in it so that was a complete and utter lesson and hum melody of like no judge Judy never again, it's like I got completely annihilated again total total humble pancake humble humble crate slice down.
48:30.40
syrupcoaching
Um, okay.
48:38.30
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
48:42.81
Shelton Wilder
Everything that I thought I'd done So when I see people or hear people I'm like they're like nursing not not do whatever's best for you.
48:48.42
syrupcoaching
Are.
48:51.87
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, like oh my god the baby's fine if that's what you like great if that's what you don't like great great I mean just totally mom power you know, 0 and and I've taken that in every part of my life now at like 0 judgment anybody wants to do do it.
49:00.81
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
49:07.51
syrupcoaching
Oh my gosh. So funny I mean I think I think being a parent admit I mean obviously there's many yeah perspective and and life shifts you you do, but like there are things you're like we were at a coffee shop in larchemon where we used to live and and.
49:09.68
Shelton Wilder
So.
49:24.67
Shelton Wilder
Yeah.
49:27.31
syrupcoaching
Before we had Ellis and so like six years ago and there was a ah little boy and his dad and then the boy kept dropping his bagel on the floor and the dad kept giving it to him and I almost like never never no, never do that and and now like with.
49:36.88
Shelton Wilder
Um, yeah, oh yeah, like guys trusting. But.
49:47.40
syrupcoaching
The twins I'm like that's fine. Those germs are good for you look at look that wall. Whatever you know I and it yeah totally but you but whether it's like letting your guard down or being like.
49:51.35
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you need high second row right? Yeah, ah.
50:02.89
syrupcoaching
Here's my expectations. But here's really the reality and I'm running with the reality like you just you got to do it and those lessons. Yeah, you take like it's It's for me, it was like a lesson in like letting go a lot of perfectionism because it was just like well we're not doing this. This is not the way we do it. And to me like you know what? that happens. Okay like we'll move on.
50:25.40
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, totally I mean I I it happens to be all the time I am judged all the time I could care less I mean my son's call my nanny mom. Okay, but how could you let your son come I was like listen I Wish she was my mom. Okay, she's made she's incredible.
50:31.99
syrupcoaching
Um, you.
50:34.30
syrupcoaching
E.
50:39.63
syrupcoaching
Um, yes.
50:44.71
Shelton Wilder
Um, okay so I'm fun mom and she was all ah like packing lunches and hard stuff that I don't like okay so we got a good system. So whatever you know and like you have 3 parents I I wish I had 3 parents. That's the greatest thing they're like the most happy love children ever.
50:53.59
syrupcoaching
Yeah.
51:00.57
syrupcoaching
Um, totally.
51:03.29
Shelton Wilder
We are fine. People can say whatever they want and now I just I like laughp but I always just bring it back with like some humor like that I mean just like really oh my God I Wish she was my mom. She's may you should beat her I like know we went what else he say like a cool who care.
51:15.55
syrupcoaching
Um, let's see.
51:18.38
syrupcoaching
Um, exactly exactly I just like let it roll off and not stay with you and that helps a ton I mean you said that you probably have a hundred text messages like what what is your typical day look like of like.
51:23.13
Shelton Wilder
Yeah, so there.
51:36.56
Shelton Wilder
Ah.
51:37.89
syrupcoaching
Yeah, you've been shooting in the morning today you're talking to me media interviews like what what else is going on.
51:39.16
Shelton Wilder
Yeah.
51:45.48
Shelton Wilder
So most of the day is so I get up early around six I do a workout. Um I'm checking my phone people like don't live to your phone. Well I look at my phone I'm checking my phone checking my messages checking everything I respond to clients if it's at six zero a m or or. Midnight whenever I want them to feel you know I'm not one to say like oh my hours are from 9 to 4 our nine to 5 like no, it's whenever because it's so emotional I don't want to get back to. You have a question so I I get back to clients i.
52:09.63
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, um.
52:17.38
Shelton Wilder
Talk to them I'm making sure offers are written I'm going to showings I'm doing inspections I am prospecting I'm going to lunches I'm going to lunch after this I'm going to um, be with the kids and do different activities with them I played tennis yesterday. So there's no like exact typical day. But I'm I'm in the office um do a lot of meetings. We do meetings with the team on Mondays I'm I'm just very active like on the phone and you know checking in on emails making sure listing presentations are done going on listing appointments. So there's no exact.
52:35.39
syrupcoaching
Um, me.
52:45.79
syrupcoaching
Um.
52:52.75
Shelton Wilder
Typical day. That's what I love too and I also am not like sequestered just to my office I'm like out and about and all over but some days it's great to have an office day and just stay in the office and get get things done. So um, yeah, there's there's There's a lot that's always happening always taking calls and and text from the team too and and clients.
52:55.38
syrupcoaching
Um, business.
53:03.24
syrupcoaching
Um, you know.
53:08.83
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah to them.
53:12.63
Shelton Wilder
That's my main thing I want to try to be as um, quick to respond as I can I think that's my um, that's a really good thing about me is that I really am communicative and responsive because you can lose a whole.
53:25.48
syrupcoaching
Um, absolutely.
53:29.00
Shelton Wilder
People like oh well no, there's just business hours and like there's no business hours in real estate I mean there's things that have to you know offers to go out on like Sunday night at ten P M I mean you have to just do it when do it. So.
53:37.23
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, that you have to get something in before holiday weekend or call escrow immediately after a holiday weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
53:45.61
Shelton Wilder
Huly. Yeah, So yeah, so staying on it but I have the best team and people that are helpful and able to like show up and do things and so it's just yeah I Love having a lot lot of a lot of help and it helps them and it helps me.. It's just a good and then. And everyone that works with us like oh my gosh You guys are all seeing like sisters or something like very like you're related because you're all act the same It's and and it and it's and we're all diverse but it's all you know, like the same energy of being of service. That's the vibe. Yeah.
54:02.76
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
54:19.20
syrupcoaching
Um, totally totally and you have a shorthand with each other and probably they have a shorthand with the client. So like you're all sort of speaking the same language and you get it. Um and it and I think that consistency is so key in building a brand and.
54:20.96
Shelton Wilder
Oh now.
54:32.50
Shelton Wilder
Yes, we're trying we're trying we're out. We're always learning. We're always learning. But yes I really try to do my best and and putting them first. The clients are first I know divve is loud. The c clients arefer. So.
54:33.83
syrupcoaching
And articulating that out and you guys nailed that? Yeah I.
54:42.67
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, yeah, yep, yep, 1 last question for you Shelton question I asked everyone. Okay, this probably came in college after I too was drinking too much but my.
55:00.84
Shelton Wilder
Point I mean 50 all said.
55:00.90
syrupcoaching
Ah, my college roommate night. Yeah, right? right? Ah my college roommate and I would always pose this question on each other. But I think it's really relevant today, especially with people you know doing their own thing and you know, um, needing needing like a phone a friend moment. If you had a button with you at all times and you press it and it can do anything for you. What would that button. Do.
55:27.28
Shelton Wilder
Okay, oh wow, That's a big question that is that is a big one. Well I guess I would say as trying to recover as a people pleaser I think it is a good quality actually sometimes but I don't want to call it people pleaser. But.
55:44.58
syrupcoaching
Um, is.
55:46.13
Shelton Wilder
I Love people I know it sounds so silly I Love people to get along and I think what is what has been really difficult recently I don't want to talk politics or all these different things but it's like no one is hearing each other and no one That's not allowing each other to have their own.
55:48.81
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
56:04.82
Shelton Wilder
Their own opinions and their own ideas. It's like we just learn to communicate better and and collaborate and get on the same page would be so much easier than this fighting I can't stand the.
56:07.13
syrupcoaching
Um, right? um.
56:20.26
Shelton Wilder
Ah, drum the the fighting and then no one lit talking over each other and then you know my way or the highway. Um, so I think the button would just be just you know hearing each other out and it's trying like we're all.
56:25.66
syrupcoaching
Right? right.
56:39.84
Shelton Wilder
Hopefully just trying for the for the same team The same experience to be together to be humans and to get a lot. So I really wish that that there was that there was that but there's a lot of boys and there's a lot of fighting that's happening right now and um.
56:52.12
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
56:57.22
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.
56:58.30
Shelton Wilder
And miscommunication of people that's happening Oh that That's I hate that but I but but the way that I combat that is I I don't watch any news I don't watch any. It could be you know spike it up like other the like you know I like.
57:08.31
syrupcoaching
Um, is he.
57:13.29
syrupcoaching
Um, Tony.
57:17.17
Shelton Wilder
Peaceful situations and and that's why you know and I always joked and I say like I'm wearing my crown of patience because I think the patient comes in when people get scared and are in fear then board motions get really kicked up. So.
57:25.75
syrupcoaching
Um, he.
57:28.96
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, sure.
57:35.45
Shelton Wilder
I Try to be patient and try to be more reasonable and just say like you know it doesn't work to yell at each other. It doesn't work like with agents or with getting upset. It's just we. We just don't do that. We're just gonna be adults here and let me just listen in. It's just always fear. It's fear. So if people.
57:44.93
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
57:54.58
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
57:55.39
Shelton Wilder
More faith that things would work out because things seem to work at all I mean every I always I think everything's always working out for me. That's my best. My thought is my my mantra and my my vision and and so.
57:56.15
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah.
58:03.31
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, yeah with everyone with time everything will'll get to this place. It's supposed to be but I think your button for peacee and quiet reminds me of one of my favorite quotes and I'm not really a quote person but this one's always stuck with me and I remember it in moments of stress.
58:17.29
Shelton Wilder
Yeah.
58:23.32
syrupcoaching
Be the mountain in a snowstorm like yeah yeah, like there's so much going around but you are there and you are focused and you're going this way and you're not getting dragged around like I think about that sometimes even when it's a crazy day with the kids and like be the mountain.
58:24.16
Shelton Wilder
Oh I Love that.
58:41.64
syrupcoaching
Mountain. Um.
58:41.84
Shelton Wilder
Um, me the map I'm gonna say I'm like I'm here I'm the I'm the patient mountain. It just stays stays put I'm just like say whatever you need to say and then I'm just still and still here. Ah, ah.
58:46.96
syrupcoaching
Um, yes.
58:54.80
syrupcoaching
Um, yeah, right here? Yes, ah but them ah well, it was absolutely fantastic to chat with you today. Thank you so much for giving me.
58:58.28
Shelton Wilder
Wouldn know yeah like ah.
59:05.31
Shelton Wilder
Oh.
59:05.75
syrupcoaching
So much your time on a crazy busy day but it's always great to catch up with you and I can't wait till we do it in person. Yeah yeah, awesome. Thank you Shel then.
59:10.55
Shelton Wilder
Yes, we do I know next week I'm going to see you Yes, Okay, thank you bye.